


Now when do I start to feel again?

by the_scarlet_01



Series: Buck and Eddie can't catch a break [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Post 3x06, Post-Episode: s03e06 Monsters, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-31 19:40:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21246287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_scarlet_01/pseuds/the_scarlet_01
Summary: Buck's first call back with the team doesn't go as well as Bobby and Eddie hoped. It leads to Eddie having to make a tough decision. A decision that only gets made after a very emotional day.Buddie fic, pre-slash, 3x06 Coda, Bobby is clearly not only Buck's emergency contact but also his dad.Re-edited for typos 11/11/19
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: Buck and Eddie can't catch a break [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1552987
Comments: 42
Kudos: 570





	1. 'Cause the damage is done and I forgive you

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work in progress  
This is my first 9-1-1 fic. So forgive me if they seem a little OOC  
Title is from “I forgive you” by Kelly Clarkson.  
I own nothing.  
Unbeta'd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby and Buck make the team breakfast. Eddie and Bobby worry about Buck's first call back. The call, as usual for Buck, doesn't go exactly as planned. Eddie and Bobby have a sit down about recent events that Eddie was involved in.

Eddie walks into the locker room, but stops in his tracks when he hears Buck and Bobby talking.

“You sure it is wrapped tight enough?” Bobby asks. The concern clear in the captain’s voice made Eddie feel uneasy.

“Any tighter and I’m not sure I could feel my fingers.” Buck laughed. “Hen made sure it wasn’t going anywhere. It’s fine.” Eddie could practically hear the smug in his best friend’s tone.

“Yeah well the other paramedics probably thought that too, and you managed to lose it before you finished breakfast.” Eddie could practically hear the frown in Bobby’s voice.

“Hen used a lot more tape,” Buck laughed again. Eddie tried to ignore the flutter in his stomach at the sound. He wanted to know what was going on.

“Just keep an eye on it or you’ll end up back at the ER.” Bobby said as he finally let go of Buck’s arm, satisfied the bandage wasn’t going anywhere.

“I know-“ Buck started to reply but was cut off as Eddie dropped his bag.

“You were in the ER?” Eddie asked as he moved forward to join them.

“Yeah, no, I mean-“ Buck started to answer but seemed to struggle with finding the right words.

Bobby looked between the two fire fighters and decided to give the two a moment.

“I’m going to make sure everyone else ate, and are ready in case we get a call.” Bobby gave Buck’s shoulder a squeeze before heading out of the room, shaking his head a bit as he did. Eddie barely noticed Bobby leaving as he started looking over Buck. Eddie moved Buck’s arm to get a good look at the bandage wrapped around his arm.

“I mean I was at the ER but not AT the ER.” Buck tried to explain.

“What does that even mean?” Eddie’s brow furrowed, he glanced up and met Buck’s gaze. “What the hell happened?”

“It was just some glass from the windshield. No big deal.” Buck finally managed to tell him.

“You were in an accident?” Eddie’s eyes went wide as the question came out of his mouth.

“What? No!” Buck backpedaled, he could see where Eddie might have got that idea but that wasn’t it. “No, I was at the gas station and there was this lady, with a guy in her windshield, I mean like IN in her windshield. I had to help him, both of them, you know?” Buck reached up to itch at the bandage on his arm, but his hand was quickly swatted away by Eddie.

“And you ended up in the ER?” Eddie was now staring at him, clearly trying to connect all the pieces of the disjointed story Buck was telling.

“Yeah, but not for me, I wanted to make sure they were okay. The paramedics patched me up on the way there, and I mean the blood thinners mean my shirt was a goner but I had a spare so I just-“ Buck was rambling. His story still a bit jumbled.

“But they called Bobby. The ER called Bobby.” Eddie’s tone indicating it was more of a statement than an actual question.

“Well yeah, they wanted to make sure I was looked after. I may not have needed stitches but like I said, the thinners made it seem worse than it was. I was surprised when Bobby showed up.” Buck shrugged.

Eddie was struggling to get his head around it all. Buck had been hurt, bad enough they called Bobby to make sure he was looked after. Eddie felt a twist in his chest. Buck had been hurt. His grip tightening a bit around Buck’s wrist as he looked over the bandage again, as he tried to keep his breathing steady.

“Eddie,” Buck started to say but stopped when Eddie dropped his arm.

Eddie took a shuddered breath and crossed his arms over his chest, to try and keep the storm of emotions he had going through him at bay. He was confused, he was angry, he was worried. His best friend was standing there telling him he was hurt and hadn’t even called him. 

Buck knew he’d done it again. He’d said something stupid and pissed off his best friend. His brain started scrambling to try and fix it, to try and explain to Eddie he was okay. That he didn’t have to worry. That he was sorry. “I know it was stupid. I just couldn’t do nothing and let those people suffer, or worse, die. I told them as soon as I realized I was bleeding about the blood thinners, but I barely felt it. I didn’t even know I was cut, but I let them check it out. I did. I didn’t argue or anything. Eddie, I’m sorry. I know I should have called for backup sooner. I know I should have checked in with someone. I’m sorry, but I just-“

“Shut up.” Eddie leveled Buck with a glare. “Please just shut up.”

Buck blinked in shock, the apology on his tongue dying as he snapped his mouth closed. Eddie was so mad. The fear he felt down to the bone only lessened when Eddie pulled him to his chest and wrapped his arms around him. It took a second for Buck to react, to hug Eddie back.

Eddie bit back a groan as he tried to ignore the ache of his healing ribs as he hugged Buck. He just focused on breathing and knowing Buck was okay. He hoped Buck didn’t notice the stiff, shifting movement he made to try and ease the discomfort, while still trying to hug his friend.

“It was just a few cuts, Eddie.” Buck tried to reassure him. “I promise."

“Cuts that bled enough to involve paramedics and worry the staff at the hospital.” Eddie stated as he pulled away from Buck, purposefully willing his arms to not rub at his side.

It was Buck’s turn to glare. “Says the guy with bruised ribs.” Buck shook his head. “At least I got checked out. At least I called for help. At least I had Hen fix the bandage. Because, you know, that is what friends do, what a team does, right?” He got in Eddie’s face a bit. “At least I talked to someone, to them, which is more than I can say for you.” With that said Buck stormed out of the locker room, leaving Eddie staring at the floor with clenched fists.

“You alright?” Bobby asked as Buck made it up the stairs to the break area. Buck shook his head and half shrugged. Bobby was about to say something to try and assure Buck that Eddie was probably just shocked, but didn’t get the chance. The alarm went off, they had a call.

* * *

Bobby was thankful that the call seemed like a rather simple one. It was a fender bender at a traffic light that seemed to be more road rage incident than accident. There were a few pieces of debris scattered across the road from the collision, but engines were off, nothing was on fire, and both drivers seemed to be up and moving. Bobby wouldn’t admit it to anyone, except maybe his wife, but he was on edge for Buck’s first real call since the bombing. His first since he had collapsed at Bobby’s house. His first since he’d survived a tsunami. He was nervous about the kid’s first call. He knew letting Buck back on calls was not going to be easy for him. He worried about him more than the kid seemed to worry about himself, but he’d seen a shift in how Buck seemed to be handling things. He was trying to prove he could not only do the job, save people, but that he was becoming more aware of his own limitations, he wasn’t fighting or arguing this time. He was just happy to be back. Bobby let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding when Buck didn’t put up a fight when he asked him to start clearing the road while Chimney and Hen checked over the drivers. They could do this. His team could do this. They were back together, whole.

The relief didn’t last long. Bobby wasn’t sure which driver had started it, but one second he is calling the shots, and the next his team was scrambling to pull the drivers apart. Fists and feet trying to connect as the drivers screamed obscenities and threw blame around like knives. He caught a glimpse of Buck as the kid ran over to help Hen subdue one of the struggling drivers. Bobby was sure his heart in his throat as he watched the driver’s elbow connect with the side of Buck’s face, causing Buck to stumble back. Bobby was there before he even realized he’d moved.

“Buck!” Bobby caught the youngest member of his team before he hit the ground, lowering him to his knees. He watched as Buck shakes his head and looks around, trying to get his bearings. Bobby was only faintly aware of the scuffle going on behind him. “Hey kid, you okay?” He gripped Buck’s chin gently, trying to get a better look at the bruise that was already beginning to cover the side of the young man’s face.

Buck nods despite the grip on his chin. “Ye-yeah, Cap.” Buck finally manages to say as he blinks a few times, willing his vision to adjust in his one eye.

“You sure?” Bobby asked as he helped Buck stand and get his feet firmly under him. He held the kid steady in case he moved to fast.

“Yeah,” Buck nodded again.

Bobby noticed that the scuffle had finally stopped. He turned back to see if Hen or Chimney could look Buck over, to make sure nothing was broken, but the request never made it out. He stopped when he saw Chimney and Hen holding back a clearly furious Eddie Diaz, as a police officer cuffed the driver that had taken Buck down. Bobby made sure that Buck was steady on his feet before going over to the rest of his team.

“Chim, check the drivers again. Make sure they are ready to go.” Bobby ordered. Chim nodded and headed towards where the drivers had been taken to a waiting ambulance by the officers. “Hen,“ He started to give her instructions but she was already grabbing her gear and walking towards Buck.

“Yeah, I know, I’ll make sure our boy didn’t break his pretty face.” Hen shook her head as she went.

Bobby turned back to Eddie. “What the hell was that?!” Bobby demanded an answer. He didn’t want to believe that one of his team had just started a fight on scene at a call, but that was sure as hell what it looked like. He just hoped Chimney could convince the cops to not drag Eddie into the back of the squad car. He’d just gotten his team back together.

Eddie didn’t know what to say. He’d just seen Buck go down and saw red. When Bobby didn’t get an answer he shook his head. “Finish clearing the road. My office when we get back to the station.” Bobby waited until Eddie nodded that he understood before looking up as Chimney approached.

“They’re PD’s problem now.” Chimney glanced at Eddie and shook his head. “You’re lucky, they decided to leave you to Cap.” Chim slapped Eddie on the back before going to pack up his gear.

“You got damn lucky, Buckaroo,” Hen spoke, handing Buck an ice pack as Bobby approached. “You managed not to break your face or bleed all over this time.”

Buck let out a bitter laugh. “Sure, lucky me.” He winced as he pressed the ice pack to the side of his face.

“Everything alright?” Bobby asked, eyeing the edges of the bruise that spread past the edge of the ice pack.

“He’ll survive.” Hen shook her head before heading back to the truck with her gear. Bobby took the chance to look Buck over again.

“I should get back to-“ Buck started to head towards the debris when Bobby put a hand on his shoulder.

“Eddie’s doing it,” Bobby shook his head.

“But-“ Buck started to argue it was his job, but Bobby’s hand just gripped his shoulder a bit tighter.

“Nope.” Bobby used his Captain tone, as the team called it. He turned to wave one of the officers over to them. “You are going to tell this officer what happened, so it can go on record, and then you are going to go back to the truck. Eddie can clear the road. Got it?” Bobby waited for an argument from Buck that never came. To Bobby’s surprise Buck nodded slowly. The youngest Firefighter was clearly careful of the ache that must be slowly filling his skull.

“Yeah, sure.” Buck said as he moved to talk to the cop and telling them what happened. Bobby wondered how hard the kid had gotten hit to lose the urge to fight and argue that quickly, but that was something he’d have to think about later. First he had to deal with Eddie Diaz.

* * *

Eddie spent most of the ride back to the station alternating between staring at nothing and glancing at Buck. Hen had taken Buck’s headset from him and given him a new icepack, when he reached the truck. Now Buck was leaning his head against the truck with the icepack against his face. Buck groaned when they hit a particularly nasty pot hole that caused Buck’s head to bounce slightly against the truck. Without thinking Eddie reached over and pulled Buck into his side. Made sure his head was cushioned against his shoulder and not the unforgiving metal of the truck. He leaned in to make sure Buck could hear him over the noise around them. “You’re going to make it worse doing that.” He finally managed to explain his actions. Buck didn’t say anything. His muscles tense, not really able to relax, but appreciating the fact his head wasn’t bouncing around so much. So he didn’t fight it. The rest of the ride back was awkwardly silent.

“Diaz!” Bobby called as they started to unload at the station. “My office!”

Eddie looked over at Buck. Buck had started his post call work, but looked up when he caught Eddie looking at him. He just wanted to make sure his friend was okay.

“Now!” Bobby shouted.

Eddie turned to follow Bobby to his office.

Bobby spoke as soon as the door closed. “I don’t know what is going on with you, but you need to get a grip on it before you do something you can’t undo.”

“I know, I’m working on it.” Eddie states. 

“Are you? Because whatever that is, it clearly isn’t working.” Bobby was watching Eddie’s every move now. “Are you trying to get arrested again? Because you almost did, Chimney saved your ass out there.”

Eddie’s shoulders dropped. “I just- I saw Buck go down and I just wasn’t thinking.” He sighed, he knew he was in real trouble now.

“That seems to be the trend these days.” Bobby shook his head. They stood there in silence a few moments before Bobby speaks again. “I know it has been a messed up few weeks. Hell, it has been a mess of a year.” Bobby sat down at his desk.

“One hell of an understatement,” Eddie pointed out as he took a seat across for Bobby’s desk.

“Yeah.” Bobby let out a frustrated laugh.

Eddie decided if he was already in trouble, why not get some answers to questions he needed to ask. “What happened to light duty? He’s on calls now?” Eddie didn’t need to clarify who he was talking about. They both knew the real topic here was Buck.

Bobby thought about how best to answer that. “He finally seemed ready.” He apparently picked the wrong answer because Eddie was now glaring at him.

“Ready? You picked him up from the ER, decided he was ready. Did you see his face? How is that ready. The blood thinners-“

Bobby cut Eddie’s rant of quickly. “Because I realized something standing in that ER this morning, Evan Buckley can and will find trouble whether we like it or not. It is just who he is. He is bound and determined to try and save everybody, even at his own expense.”

“Exactly! He shouldn’t be-“ Eddie started but Bobby waved his argument off.

“Buck is going to do what Buck does best. Sure, we could keep him on chores and not let him go on calls, but that clearly didn’t work before. He thinks of it as punishment.” Bobby sighed. “He feels like we are pretty much torturing him. And honestly, I’m not sure any of us can take much more of that. Something will break if we keep taking that route, if it hasn’t already.”

Eddie sat up straighter at that. The idea that the way they had been trying to keep Buck safe from himself had already done more damage than good was not something he wanted to think about.

“I expected him to fight me, every step of the way,” Bobby said with a sad smile. “That’s what I was prepared for. I wasn’t prepared for him to just give up.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie leaned forward.

“Today, I put him on clean up, and he didn’t even argue. When I told him to head back to the truck, he did. I didn’t think he’d just fall in line so fast. It took forever to even get him to listen a little when he first started here. Maybe the cut on his arm was enough to really make him think for once.”

“Didn’t help his face.” Eddie winced as he thought about how bruised Buck was.

“Eddie,” Bobby’s tone softened. “You realize we can’t stop him, right? We tried and that ended up hurting everyone. And he still kept at it, saving people, even outside the job. The tsunami, now this whole windshield situation. We have the choice to keep trying to sideline him, to force him on light duty, and he goes looking for purpose and finding trouble somewhere out there.” Bobby gestures towards the window. “Or we let him do it here, with the team. Here, where he’ll have the safety gear and people to back him up, to keep him safe. The best we can do is keep an eye on him, to have his back. As long as he feels like he is still part of the team, we may have a chance to talk him out of doing something horribly stupid, at least until he is off the blood thinners. Okay?” Bobby looked at Eddie, somewhat hopeful that he would finally see why he was doing what he was doing.

“Yeah, okay, maybe.” Eddie said as he rubbed at his face. He hated the idea of Buck being out there without him and getting into trouble. He had hated that feeling in the locker room this morning knowing his best friend had literally chased down danger and he wasn’t there to help him. No one had his back and he ended up in an ambulance because of it.

“But Eddie,” Bobby spoke, pulling Eddie out of his thoughts, as he continued. “I need you to get a handle on whatever it is you’re struggling with. You need to talk to someone.” Eddie tensed up. Bobby was clearly back in Captain mode. Bobby leveled him with a stern look. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed the bruises, the stiff movements. I have enough on my plate keeping Buck from being stupid. Don’t you start in on it too.”

“Cap-Bobby-I-“ Eddie started but was waved off again.

“You want to worry about Buck, that’s fine, we all do. But, how can you help him if you can’t help yourself?” Bobby watched as Eddie’s figure slumped a bit in the chair. “I need to know that I can still count on you to help out there”. Bobby stood up and moved to put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder gently. “I know you have had a rough year. I know you’ve been through a lot, so I have been lenient, but you have me in a tough spot, Eddie.” Bobby let his hand fall to his side and he leaned back against his desk. “Eddie, you couldn’t even endure a hug from Buck yesterday without the pain acting up. How do you expect to pull someone from a building? You going to make him do it? That’s farther from light duty, than what I’ve got him doing. “

“I’m fine, I can do it. I’ve been through worse.” Eddie ground out through clenched teeth. This is not the conversation he was hoping to have.

“No, you aren’t,” Bobby shook his head. “But I’m sure you will figure it out, because this team needs you to. Buck needs you to. Not sure he can do it without you.” Eddie felt like he’d taken a hit to the gut. He needed the fights, it gave him a vent. He couldn’t just stop, but if it meant making things worse for Buck. He shook the thoughts off as Bobby continued, “You’re the one in the thick of it with him. If you can’t do something because your ribs are too bruised to do it, and it falls to him and he has to take on more than he can handle, well, that wont end well for any of us. Eddie, consider this your first and hopefully final warning, get a grip on this. You have to. If not for yourself, or even for Buck, do it for Christopher. You got people that rely on you, and I don’t know how much longer they can cover for you.” Bobby says as he stands up and heads for the door. “Next time, you might not be so lucky.” Bobby sighs. “Don’t let whatever is in your head ruin your life and destroy what family you do have. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

Eddie looks up. It was such a personal thing for his boss to say. When he turns towards the door Bobby is already gone. Eddie drops his head in his hands. He’d already lost so much, but what could he do? If he didn’t find a way to vent his rage, then it would find another way out. He couldn’t risk that happening around Christopher, or even Buck. He couldn’t risk them. He thought back to why he was in Bobby’s office in the first place. ‘_Because whatever that is, it clearly isn’t working’_ that is what Bobby had said. Maybe it was already starting to seep out into the rest of his life. That was not good. He couldn’t let that happen. He needed to fix this. 


	2. But I'll be back with a brand new attitude. 'Cause I forgive you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christopher gets to see his Buck for the first time since the lawsuit. Eddie takes Bobby's advice. Buck and Eddie actually talk about everything that has happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a handful of curse words, probably should have put that in Chapter 1's notes too. Hopefully everyone is okay with it.  
Again, This is my first 9-1-1 fic. So forgive me if they seem a little OOC  
Title/chapter title is from “I forgive you” by Kelly Clarkson.  
I own nothing.  
Unbeta'd  
Updated: more I write more ooc Spanish here felt so I pulled it.

After his shift ended, Eddie Diaz went home. He hugged his son and did his best to act like it was just an ordinary day. He tried his best to act like his life wasn’t crumbling around him. Buck was mad at him. Bobby knew he was in over his head, and it was looking like he either had to quit fighting or he might lose his job, or worse. He thought he was doing a pretty decent job of hiding it all until it was time to clean up after dinner. Eddie was in the kitchen when he heard a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it!” Christopher shouted.

“Chris wait-“ Eddie dropped the plate he was about to put in the dishwasher on the counter and hurried to stop his entirely too trusting and optimistic son from answering a door that Eddie hadn’t expected anyone to be knocking on. Eddie froze in the doorway when he heard his son greet their visitor.

“Bucky!” Christopher smiled as he rushed the figure in the doorway.

“Hey buddy.” Buck leaned down and hugged Christopher. “You know you really shouldn’t just open the door without a grown up, right?”

“But it’s you.” Christopher looked up at Buck with the same smile that always seemed to warm Buck to the core, bone deep. Buck scooped Christopher up and moved into the house, kicking the door shut as he did.

“This time, it is.” Buck made sure he had the boy’s full attention now that he had him at eye level. “But next time it might not be. So promise me, next time you’ll wait until your dad is at least in the room, okay?”

“Or you?” Christopher asked.

Buck ignored the twist in his stomach at the idea of being back in Eddie and Christopher’s lives enough to be there like Chris was suggesting. So he settled for expanding the list. “Or Carla, or Abuela. Someone you trust. Got it?”

“Got it.” Christopher smiled at him and nodded.

“Good.” Buck tightened his grip on the boy and started to set him down, but was stopped when Christopher put his hand gently on the bruised part of Buck’s face. Buck was glad he had the reflexes and instinct that allowed him to not drop the boy as he surprised him. The frown on the boy’s face was like a knife in Buck’s heart. That boy had a grip on the firefighter’s heart that shouldn’t shock him after everything they’d been through, but it still manage to take him by surprise. “It’s okay, Chris, Just a bump from work. No big deal.” Buck couldn’t ignore the way Christopher looked over at his dad.

“Dad gets them too.” Christopher looks between the two firefighters for a moment before squirming a bit until Buck put him down and let him go completely. “He gets them a lot.”

Eddie had to brace himself on the doorframe. The look of sadness on his son’s face was stronger than any punch he received at the fights. He really thought he’d been doing at least a half decent job of shielding Christopher from what he had been doing at nights. Apparently, it was just added to the list of things that his son had been hiding from him, thinking that telling Eddie would make him sad. Just knowing that felt like a vice grip was crushing his heart and stealing the air from his lungs. He just keeps failing his son.

Buck closed his eyes and ignored the mix of emotions warring in his own mind. He needed to prioritize. Christopher was always, ALWAYS, first priority. Nothing else mattered. _Fuck it. _He decided. If Eddie wasn’t going to put his own kid first, Buck would. Buck dropped down on his knees, ignoring the ache in his bad leg and pulled Christopher back to him. “It’s okay. I’m here. Do you hear me? I’m back now. I’ll make sure your dad quits getting hurt so much. I’m not going anywhere. Okay? I’m right here.” His grip tightening as he felt the boy he adored so completely nodded into his shoulder. “Good.” Buck reached up and buried his fingers in Christopher’s hair, ignoring the tears that were now streaming down his own face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to look after you guys, but I’m here now.” He placed a kiss in the boy’s hair. An action he could never bring himself to regret when Christopher’s arms tightened ever so slightly around his neck.

“I missed you, Bucky.” Christopher’s voice was muffled and wavered slightly from his face being buried in Buck’s neck.

“I missed you more than you could possibly know.” Buck rubbed the boy’s back, before shifting awkwardly so that he's sitting on the floor, stretching out his sore leg before pulling Christopher into his lap. 

Eddie choked on the sob that seemed to be clawing its way from his throat. His best friend was sitting on the floor, crying and holding his son. HIS son. Eddie thought about that. Chris was more than just his. It was so painfully clear now. Eddie had known Buck was deeply rooted in Chris’ life, even before the tsunami, but this. This was proof. Buck was always good at seeing things Eddie couldn’t, or at least the things Eddie tried to hide. Apparently it wasn’t just him. Buck also saw the things Christopher tired to hide. Buck was better at this than him. What really surprised him was the fact that knowing that Buck was a better dad to Christopher didn’t make him angry. No, it actually seemed to take some of the weight off his shoulders. He let out a shaky breath. Eddie felt something inside him break. He went over and dropped to his knees next to the only people that truly mattered in his life. He endured the aches and pains throughout his body as his punishment. He deserved the pain for worrying his son. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry, buddy.” He buried his face in his son’s hair. “I messed up. I love you, don’t ever forget that. You are my world.”

The three of them sat like that for what felt like hours, but was really only a few minutes, before Eddie managed to shake himself and realize they probably should get off the floor. He stood up and stretched his sore muscles before reaching down to pick up his son, moving him to the living room sofa. He kissed his son’s forehead before going back to Buck. His heart twisting as he noticed the younger man trying to scrub the tear from his face with the sleeve of his jacket. “Buck,” Eddie’s voice cracked as he spoke. “I’m sorry.”

Buck shook his head and moved to get his feet back under him so he could get off the floor.

“Evan.”

Buck looked up at the use of his first name. He saw Eddie’s outstretched hand. Buck took it and let his best friend help him up. He went to move to the living room, to Christopher, when Eddie’s hand tightened around his and he was pulled into a gripping hug.

“I’m sorry, Evan, please. I’m such an idiot.” Eddie gave up fighting his tears.

“Yeah, you’re a dumbass.” Buck let out a shaky laugh. “But don’t get used to it. We can’t both be stupidly reckless.”

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh. “God I missed you.”

“Missed you too,” Buck sighed but pulled away. “How’s the ribs?”

Eddie missed the warmth instantly. It took him a minute to track the quick change of topics. “Wha- oh, it’s fine.”

Buck glared at him. “Eddie,” his voice scolding.

Eddie shook his head. He should know better by now. He knows that Buck knows he’s lying. “Okay, fine. They’re sore, healing but sore. Honestly, it hurts less than watching that.” Eddie gestured towards the floor where they had just been sitting.

Buck chuckled. “Good. Maybe now you’ll quit being weird and actually talk to me.”

“I will,” Eddie nodded. “I promise.” He felt a resolve develop deep down. He basked in the feeling something other than rage.

“Later,” Buck smiled and nodded towards the living room. “I think someone had a tough day.” He gives Eddie’s shoulder a squeeze before going to sit next to Christopher on the sofa. He picked up the TV remote. “How about we find something to watch, huh?” Christopher nodded and snuggled into Buck’s side. Buck wrapped his arm around the boy, trying to protect him from any more hurt the world might have left to throw at him. He knew it wouldn’t work, but sure as hell, he was going to try everything he could to protect the sweet little boy next to him.

Eddie couldn’t believe how lucky he was. After all the shit he put them through. After not only yelling at his best friend, but then giving him the cold shoulder and keeping the truth from him, here he was, taking care of Christopher, and trying to help Eddie. Eddie didn’t deserve any of it. He’d been foolish and reckless. He’d put everything he cared about at risk, just so he could make himself feel better, and it hadn’t even worked. This was the first time he’d felt anything but anger and helplessness in weeks. He smiled as Buck and Christopher argued about what to watch on TV. He pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. He wanted to keep this moment with him forever. He didn’t want to forget. He needed to remember. He knew the anger and urge to fight would come back, but he’d keep this as a reminder that all this was more important than any street fight.

“Dad! Tell Buck we have time to watch Dragons.” Christopher’s voiced pulled Eddie from his thoughts. He looked at his watch.

“I don’t know.” Eddie smiled as he moved to sit beside Christopher.

“Please?” Christopher begged.

Eddie looked down at the hopeful look on his son’s face, despite the small red tint around Christopher’s eyes and dried tears on his cheeks. He looked over at Buck to see his eyebrow raised on the unmarred side of his face, clearly a challenge.

“Why not,” Eddie finally shrugged. He knew it meant Christopher would be getting to bed a little later than usual, but he also knew that they all needed this. Christopher needed his Buck, Buck needed Christopher, and Eddie needed them both safe and close by.

“Yes!” Christopher smiled triumphantly and started the movie.

Not even halfway through the movie, Christopher was fast asleep curled into Buck’s side. Eddie let out a quiet laugh. Buck looked over at him before looking down at Christopher and smiled.

“Guess he had an exhausting day.” Buck whispered.

“Didn’t we all?” Eddie looked up at Buck. “Guess we should probably get him to bed.”

Buck nodded, ignoring the fluttering feeling in his stomach as Eddie said ‘we’.

“As much as I hate to ask,” Eddie started to ask for help, he really should let his ribs heal, he scratched at the back of his neck nervously.

“I know.” Buck grinned as he carefully extracted himself and stood up. “I got him.” He stretched and shook out his bad leg before carefully picking up Christopher.

Eddie tried not to stare as he watched Buck’s muscles flex as he moved.

Buck couldn’t fight the smug grin that came across his face as he caught Eddie watching him. “You coming or what?” He was biting his cheek to keep from laughing at the blush that covered his best friend when he knew he’d been caught.

“Uh, yeah, of course.” Eddie stood up and followed them to Christopher’s room. He went to grab his son’s pajamas as Buck settled the boy on his bed. He took a quick moment to admire the domesticity of the action. He was pulled from the moment as Buck stood back up and moved out of the way so Eddie could change Christopher’s clothes. Eddie carefully changed Christopher into pajamas and tucked him in before ushering Buck back into the hall. He left the door cracked open and headed back to the living room. He sat down on the sofa, trying to let himself relax.

Buck sat down next to him. It was quiet for a few moments; they both knew they need to talk about what had happened, as well as what had been going on recently. Buck sighed, “Listen, Eddie, I know I screwed up with the suit,” Buck started but Eddie cut him off.

“No, Buck, Evan.” Eddie turned so he could face Buck better. “We went over that already.” Eddie put his hand on Buck’s shoulder. “It’s my turn to apologize. I am so sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I was so angry. After I got arrested I didn’t know what else to do. I know I should have just called you. Chris needed you, but I was just so angry.”

“Eddie, I-“ Buck knew he’d messed up. He knew he’d hurt Eddie and Christopher when he’d cut contact with them because of the lawsuit. It was something he’d regret the rest of his life.

“Stop apologizing. Let me finish.” Eddie shook his head and continued. “I thought I was angry at you, and I might have been at first. Chris needed you and I couldn’t help him.”

Buck let out a broken sob. He hated knowing he’d let them down. He had thought it was the only way back to them, but clearly he did more damage than good.

Eddie realized this was not going the way he wanted it to and scrambled to try and fix it. He moved closer to the friend he’d so clearly just upset, again. He hated seeing him so broken. He wrapped his arm around Buck’s shoulder and pulled him against his side. “Listen to me; I couldn’t help him because half the time I wasn’t here. I knew if I called you and told you Christopher needed you, you’d be there, suit or no suit, but I was too busy being angry, I was too proud, too selfish. I knew you could help him with his nightmares but I didn’t let you. I couldn’t help him, and I made it worse by going out and looking for a fight. I thought I could just let the anger out on someone else. I figured if I let the rage win out a few nights a week, I could handle it. I just kept wanting to call my best friend, but I couldn’t let myself do that.” Eddie hugged Buck tighter as the younger man’s shoulders shook. “Evan, this isn’t on you. This one is on me. I should have known Christopher was too smart, that he knew I wasn’t handling things well, and he didn’t want to make it worse. I was so wrapped up in being angry, I didn’t realize that I was hurting him. I couldn’t even realize I wasn’t even angry at you, not really. Yes, I hated that you got messed up in that lawsuit, I hate that lawyer.” The hand that wasn’t wrapped around Buck balled into a fist. “I swear if I ever see that son of a-“ Eddie was stopped by Buck taking his balled fist in his hands. Buck kneaded the tight muscles with his thumbs until he felt them relax, but stayed quiet, he knew Eddie had more to say. Eddie took a breath to calm himself. “You were in a bad spot. You felt like no one had your back and he…he saw an opportunity. He saw a good person that he could use to make an easy profit. He wanted to convince you that selling out your family would make you feel better.”

“And I did.” Buck’s voice breaking as he spoke.

“No, you didn’t. Yeah, you told him things we wish you didn’t, but Evan, look at me.” Eddie nudged Buck’s chin until he was looking at him. “We all get it. You had been through hell. You survived being crushed under a fire truck. You pushed yourself so damn hard you ended up coughing up blood and scaring the hell out of all of us. Evan, we had already felt helpless when that kid threatened to blow you sky high, just to end up being helpless again watching you literally vomit blood. There was nothing we could do. We get you back from that to almost lose you to not only the tsunami, but to you pushing yourself to the brink of death to find Christopher. Don’t even start with the notion that you are at fault for that. You aren’t. You can’t control nature. You didn’t create those waves. You were willing to die to find Chris, and you almost did. I, we, almost lost you again and we hadn’t even known you were there.” Eddie gripped Buck’s hand tight. “You were so broken, and we were so focused on trying to keep you from getting hurt again, we didn’t realize that we were the ones hurting you this time. We thought we were protecting you from yourself. We hadn’t noticed you needed protecting from us. We went about it in the worst way possible. Bobby wanted so badly to keep you safe, but didn’t want to have to fight you on taking care of yourself. He didn’t want to fight you and that he drove you right to that damn lawyer. The rest of us were so wrapped up in ourselves that we weren’t there to stop you. I should have been there to stop you. I shouldn’t have let the shit I was going through after everything stop me from finding out what it really was. You just wanted back with the team. You let yourself get twisted into thinking that was the only way, and we let you believe it. We should have fought harder to help you than just fighting the suit.”

“It was a stupid idea in the first place.” Buck sniffled.

“Yeah, but we should have seen that you thought it was your only option. I was just too angry to see it. I’ve been angry since losing Shannon. I’ve been angry since that kid with the bomb made me stand there knowing that you were in pain and anything I did would only make it worse. I’m still angry at that piece of scum lawyer.” Eddie shook his head. “But most of all I’m angry at myself.”

“Eddie,” Buck frowned. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

“I was, because I failed you. I failed you and Chris.”

“No, Eddie you didn’t you-“

“Yes, I did. I let my anger make me stupid, so stupid even getting a beating in a street fight couldn’t knock sense into me. Then when you were back on the job, I just couldn’t let it all go. The others had figured it out, but I couldn’t let myself believe it. I knew that if you were back you’d see right through me. You’d see I was a bigger screw up, a bigger mess than I wanted anyone to know. So I tried to push you away.” Eddie let out a bitter laugh. “I should have known better. You knew I didn’t get those bruises from playing with Chris.”

It was Buck’s turn to laugh. “Like you’d let him play rough enough to get anyone hurt.” Buck smiled.

“Exactly,” Eddie squeezed Buck’s hand tightly. “And you’re too stubborn to just let it go.” He smiled back at Buck.

“You were in bad shape; did you really expect me to?” Buck asked him earnestly. 

“I wanted you to, but you have no idea how glad I am that you didn’t.” Eddie pulled his arm back from around Buck’s shoulders, but quickly moved his hand to rest on Buck’s cheek to wipe away the few stray tears that were there. “I screwed up, Evan. I let my anger get the best of me, and then today. I was trying not to freak out having you back on calls. I couldn’t understand why Bobby had let you come along. I wanted you safe back at the station. I was already on edge, and then I saw you take that hit and I lost it. You were hurt, twice in less than two day. And this time there was someone I could blame it on. I was right there and I could finally make someone pay for hurting you. I didn’t care if you weren’t really his true target. I didn’t care we were on a call. I didn’t care about anything but the fact you were hurting again. It took everything Chim and Hen had to drag me off that guy. I only realized what I was doing when the cop was cuffing the guy. I realized that I was most likely going to be arrested or even lose my job. After cleaning up the scene, I saw you in that truck and I felt even worse. If I lost my job, who was going to have your back out there? Then you were groaning in pain and I didn’t know what else to do. If it was going to be the last time I could look after you on a call, then I was going to. So I pulled you to me, so you wouldn’t hurt as much. In Cap’s office, I just knew I was going to be fired, but it was so much worse than that.”

“Worse than losing your job?” Buck couldn’t figure out anything worse than losing his job, he’d just fought tooth and nail to get his job back. How could Bobby have done anything be worse?

“Much. Bobby told me he knew that I was in to something I shouldn’t be. I was in over my head and not handling it at all. He told me to get my shit together or he’d have no choice but to fire me.”

“He told you that?” Buck had to ask.

“More or less, but again even worse. He told me that if I didn’t get this sorted out you’d be the one getting hurt. He called me out for ending that hug at the station because my ribs hurt. And he wasn’t wrong. Carrying Christopher has been painful, how could I possibly carry someone on the job, or you if something happened. He pointed out that if I was this bad, or if it got worse, than you’d be the one picking up the slack, literally. And we both know you’d push yourself too hard to keep me from having to do it, especially if I was in pain, even if it meant pain for you. So he told me it was my first and last warning to figure everything out. He didn’t want me to end up like him.” Eddie hadn’t realized he had started crying until Buck reached up to wipe the tears away. “You have to believe me. I never want to put you in a spot that you have to take on more than you need to because I’m an idiot. I can’t lose you. I can’t. If I lost you because I failed to have your back, I’d never forgive myself.”

“Eddie, you haven’t. You were right there today. You had my back too much.” Buck laughed. “So, what are you going to do?”

“Do about what?” Eddie wasn’t sure which aspect about the mess of facts he’d just thrown at Buck he was asking about.

“Bobby’s warning. You going to keep fighting or…” Buck let the question trail off, not sure how to finish it. Keep fighting or stay with him, or keep having his back, or let him help.

Eddie thought about it for a moment. The fights were something he thought he needed, but he couldn’t risk losing his job, or his best friend, because of them. He shook his head. “No, too much to lose to keep fighting, anyway Bobby was right, it clearly isn’t working if I was so blind from rage I attacked someone while on the job.”

Buck let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and felt himself actually relax. “Glad to hear.” He smiled.

“Might not be easy.” Eddie decided if he was being honest, then he was going to keep at it. “I let it all build up and now I’m not sure what to do to get rid of it.”

“Well, you feel angry now?” Buck asked him, his thumb sweeping across the still healing bruises on Eddie’s face that he’d been trying so hard to hide.

“No.” Eddie shook his head. “This…this helps.”

“Then we keep doing this.” Buck’s smiled. It was a smile that Eddie was sure could rival the sun. Eddie couldn’t possibly begin to explain how just having Buck back with him made it all seem manageable. He had no idea how to tell Buck how thankful he was to have him back, to have been forgiven. He decided to just go all in. He moved his hand to the back of Buck’s neck and pulled him in to a kiss. A kiss was the last thing Buck had been expecting, so he was frozen for beat before he found himself putting everything he had into kissing Eddie back. When they had to separate to breathe, Eddie pulled Buck as close as he could.

“On second thought, let’s keep doing that.” Buck smirked.

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh. “Of course you would want to keep doing that.”

“Don’t you want to?” Buck challenged, attempting to mask the doubts he had.

“You have no idea how much I wanted to do that.” Eddie sighed.

“You sure about that?” Buck laughed before pulling Eddie back for another kiss.

Eddie grunted as the quick movement caused his ribs to ache.

Buck winced. “Sorry, maybe a little less of that.” He stood up.

“Wait, don’t leave.” Eddie stood up, faster than he should have but shook it off.

Buck rolled his eyes. “I’m not leaving.” He gently took Eddie by the shoulders and turned him toward the hallway. “But you’re going to go lay down.”

“What are you going to do?” Eddie tried to get a good look at Buck over his shoulder.

“I’m going to get something to take the edge off those ribs, and something for this.” Buck gestured at his own bruised face. “Then get some rest. You know, like you should have been doing so those ribs could heal.”

“Only if you do the same.” Eddie argued.

“That was sort of the plan.” Buck laughed and nudged Eddie down the hall. “Now go, before I change my mind.”

“Well can’t have that, can we.” Eddie chuckled and headed down the hall.

“Smart move.” Buck went and grabbed a few Tylenol and a glass of water. If they had been at his place he would have considered taking the pain killers he had refused to finish while his leg was healing. For now he settled for downing a couple of over the counter pills. He washed them down, before refilling the glass and taking it and the remaining pills to Eddie’s room. His steps faltered slightly when he saw Eddie had changed into some sweats and a t shirt, but recovered quickly. He handed the pills and glass to Eddie.

“Thanks,” Eddie grinned and took the pills. He set the glass down on the bedside table. He turned and picked up a pair of sweats and a shirt and gave them to Buck. “Might as well be comfy, right?”

“Yeah,” Buck grinned before going to the bathroom to change. He was glad he still had a toothbrush there from all the times he’d stayed over to help watch over Chris.

When Buck walked into Eddie’s room, he stood in the doorway for a minute. He couldn’t help but think about how great it had all turned out. He’d come over that evening to just try and get Eddie to talk to him, to make sure that Christopher was okay if Eddie had gone out. He hadn’t even considered the idea that he’d be wearing Eddie’s sweats and about to crawl in the man’s bed beside him.

“You going to just stand there all night?” Eddie had a sly smirk on his face.

Buck shook his head and smiled as he moved to crawl in bed next to Eddie. He tried to be gentle as he did, not wanting to hurt Eddie any more than he already was.

Eddie huffed a bit before pulling Buck tight to his side, pulling Buck’s arm across him and letting the man pillow his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“This okay?” Buck still asked.

“Yeah.” Eddie grinned.

* * *

Eddie groaned as he reached over to silence the alarm that was going off. He froze when the figure next to him seemed to try and bury themselves into the bedding. It took Eddie’s sleep addled brain a little longer than he was proud of to recall what had happened the night before. Buck had stayed the night, not only stayed but they spent the night in Eddie’s bed after kissing on the couch. Eddie tried to keep his brain from short circuiting long enough to think rationally about it all. This was not how he planned his night to have gone, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It had been a very emotionally driven day, but it ended on a good note. His kid had apparently slept peacefully through the night, even after the crazy evening. His best friend had not just helped him get out of the pit of anger he had managed to dig himself into, but he’d listened as Eddie told him all the terrible things he’d done recently and Buck had still decided to stay to take care of him.

“You think too loud.” Buck mumbled as he moved closer to Eddie without even opening his eyes.

“One of has to.” Eddie grinned before ignoring the twinge of pain in his ribs as he rolled onto his side so he could get a better look at his bedmate. He had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing as Buck groaned and deliberately stole all the covers.

“Meanies don’t get blankets.” Buck grumbled.

Eddie couldn’t stop the laugh that came out of him if he had tired. Buck tried to glare at him, but couldn’t seem to keep the corners of him mouth from revealing the grin that hearing Eddie’s laugh brought to his face.

“Meanie.” Buck reiterated before covering his face with the blanket.

“Oh come on.” Eddie chuckled before starting to pull at the blanket. “You’re just being so damn adorable.” He managed to pull the blanket down enough to run his fingers through Buck’s hair, an action that earned a contended hum from the blonde. He let his fingers continue to card through the short blonde locks until the blanket finally pulled down.

“Morning,” Buck smiled.

“Morning,” Eddie grinned back. The quiet moment was interrupted by the snoozed alarm. Buck buried his face in Eddie’s neck when the alarm had been properly silenced. Earning a chuckle from Eddie, “That can’t feel good on your bruised face.

“Don’t care.” Buck’s answer was mumbled into Eddie’s neck, earning another laugh.

“As lovely as this is, Chris will be up soon, and though I am sure he will be thrilled you’re here. I’m not sure this is the best position to be caught in.” He regretted saying it instantly; he could feel Buck tense beside him. He mentally kicked himself. “Hey no, I just mean that we haven’t even really talked about it, let alone be ready to explain anything to him.”

“What is there to explain?” Buck pulled back and started to free himself from the covers. “I thought it was pretty clear last night, but-“

“Hey wait, Buck-Evan, stop.” Eddie pulled Buck back to him before the other man could get out of the bed. “No buts. It was crystal clear. You’re not going anywhere, neither am I.” Eddie reached up and ran his fingers along Buck’s birthmark. “I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page, I want to give this a shot if you do. So what do you say?”

Buck studied Eddie’s face for a moment, those beautiful brown eyes seemed hopeful but a bit unsure. He grinned. “Diaz, I thought I made myself clear, I’m in. If it is with you then whatever it is, I am in. Always.” Buck leaned over to steal a kiss from the older man.

Eddie smiled into the kiss. “You may regret saying that,” he laughed. “You’ll be begging to get out it when you’re sitting at the next PTA meeting or Parent/Teacher conference.” Eddie realized what he’d said, and shocked himself with that one. “I mean if that’s what you-“

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Diaz.” Buck had cut Eddie off, pushing him back down onto the bed, his face hovering just over Eddie’s. “You already know I’d do anything for Chris. I will charm the pants off the PTA if have to. I will. If it’d give him a better chance-“ It was Eddie’s turn to silence Buck by leaning up and kissing him.

“The PTA can keep their pants on. Never was very good at sharing what’s mine.” Eddie wrapped his arms around Buck, pulling him down on top of him. He didn’t give a shit if his ribs hurt. He had Buck in his arms and that was all that mattered in that moment.

“Yours huh?” Buck grinned, but still tried to hide how good that idea made him feel.

“Mine.” Eddie nipped at Buck’s lower lip. “Don’t forget it.”

Buck laughed, “Why am I not surprised that Eddie Diaz would be a possessive boyfriend.”

Eddie ignored the swell in his chest he felt when Buck called him his boyfriend. “Yeah well, could be worse. Could be the one that just said he’d prostitute himself to the PTA if it’d get his kid an advantage.”

“I did not,” Buck sat up, he was straddling Eddie’s hips now, earning a groan from the man. Buck smirked. The moment again interrupted by another alarm. Eddie had to resist the urge to hurl the dumb thing at the wall, he settled for glaring at it. Buck laughed as he turned off the alarm on Eddie’s phone. He gave Eddie another quick kiss before getting up and out of the bed. “Come on. Chris’ll be up soon and I have to run home before shift starts.”

“You are the worst.” Eddie shook his head as he watched Buck move around to get his clothes from where he had left them and moved to the door.

“Nah, I’m the best.” Buck grinned. “Now get up.”

Eddie grinned as he finally composed himself enough to get up. By the time Eddie got to the hallway Buck was already in the kitchen. Eddie started his morning routine. He was buttoning his shirt when he heard the front open and close again. He went into the kitchen to find a sticky note on the half filled coffee pot. ‘Your taste in coffee is garbage. Be back with something decent and breakfast. –Buck’. Eddie couldn’t help but laugh.

“Dad?”

Eddie looked up to see Christopher, sleep lines still on his face. Eddie couldn’t help but smile at his truly adorable son. “Hey, buddy. You sleep well?”

“Mhmm.” Christopher nodded.

“No bad dreams?” Eddie asked, still worried his son was trying to hide them from him.

“No,” the boy yawned as he spoke. “What was so funny?”

“What?” Eddie asked, he’d still been thinking about his son’s nightmares and had missed the transition, coffee would help. He desperately needed coffee. He poured himself a cup of his ‘garbage’ coffee.

“You laughed at that,” Christopher pointed at the sticky note.

“Oh yeah, nothing too funny, Buck just thinks I have bad taste in coffee.” He handed the sticky note to his son. He figured his son wouldn’t really question when the note was written. He’d just be happy it was from Buck.

Christopher read the note and smiled. “Buck’s bringing breakfast? He’s going to have breakfast with us?” Warmth spread through Eddie’s chest as his son’s face seemed to brighten at the idea of having breakfast with his Buck.

“Yeah, if we hurry and get you ready, we might even be able to convince him to come with us when we head to school.”

“Really?” Christopher practically beamed pure excitement at getting to spend just a few extra minutes with easily one of his most favorite people in existence.

“Yeah.” Eddie nodded and took another drink of coffee.

“Then let’s go!” Christopher shouted as he started back towards his room.

Eddie set his coffee on the counter with a laugh before following his son.

Christopher was finishing packing his bag when he heard a quick knock, followed by the door opening. He dropped his bag and was already on his way to the hallway when he yelled out. “Bucky!”

Eddie chuckled and put the last few papers in Christopher’s bag. He did one last double check before he went to join his son and boyfriend in the kitchen. He set the bag down as he saw Buck dump the rest of his coffee. “Hey! Come on, man.”

Buck just grinned and slid a to go coffee cup towards him his only apology. Buck grabbed a box and walked over to where Christopher was sitting at the table. He carefully slid the pancakes out of the box and on to the plate that was in front of boy. “Here ya go bud.” Buck ruffled the boy’s hair before going to grab a bottle of juice and set it next to Christopher’s plate. The boy already had nearly half a pancake on his fork and in his mouth before Buck had moved beyond the table. “Whoa, little man, slow down.” He stole the plate and cut the pancakes into smaller pieces. “Trust me, you do not want to choke. It is not fun. There. Now they’re safe.” He slid them back to the clearly overjoyed little boy. Eddie watched the whole thing hoping this was all real, he’d hate to wake up and realize this was all just a dream.

“What?” Buck asked when he noticed Eddie just sort of staring.

“Nothing,” Eddie took a sip of his new coffee, giving a hum of approval.

Buck chuckled and shook his head. He was going to get his own breakfast when he felt Eddie’s hand on his wrist. “You’re so good with him.” Eddie smiled at him.

“Well duh, I love that kid.” Buck looked over at the boy as he shoved a fork full of pancakes in his mouth.

“Yeah, well. I love you.” Eddie confessed before quickly taking a sip of his coffee to hide his grin.

Buck whipped around to look at Eddie. “Did you just-”

Eddie just nodded.

“Good.” Buck grinned. “Love you too.”

“Good.” Eddie leaned in and gave him a kiss before stealing the rest of the take out boxes and took them to the table. “Hey Chris, you ask Buck yet if he wants to go with us to drop you off at school?”

“No,” Christopher looked up as Buck came over to steal back his breakfast. “Hey Bucky, you want to go with us?”

Buck looked between the two Diaz boys and knew he was done for. There was no way he was ever going to get out of anything with these two. Eddie was already trying to see if Buck had meant what he’d said about going anywhere with him. So Buck shrugged. “Yeah, bud. Sounds fun.”

“Yes!” Christopher cheered before digging back into his pancakes.

Eddie grinned as he took a bite of his own pancakes.

Yup, Buck was done for.

* * *

After they had dropped Christopher off, the two firefighters headed into work. They’d driven together into work before, but this was different. Buck stole a quick kiss before he got out and headed into the station. Eddie smiled and shook his head as he grabbed his bag and headed inside. He took his time in the locker room, taking a minute to text Carla to make sure she was still on for looking after Christopher after school. That was when he realized they’d miscalculated one thing. He quickly made his way upstairs. He found Buck talking to Chim and Bobby in the kitchen. He caught Buck’s attention and nodded towards a quieter part of the break area. Buck wrapped up his conversation with the others and headed towards his partner.

“What’s up?” Buck asked.

“I just double checked with Carla to make sure she was going to look after Chris.” Eddie told him.

“And?” Buck didn’t see the problem.

“And your jeep is currently in my driveway.” Eddie stated.

“Okay, not the first time, so…?” Buck raised an eyebrow.

“So she’ll ask Chris about it, I’m sure he’ll tell her all about breakfast.” Eddie ran his hand through his hair. He could practically see the gears turning and suddenly click into place as Buck thought about it.

“And he’ll tell her about last night.” Buck let out a nervous laugh. “And she’ll have plenty of questions when we get home.”

Eddie nodded before asking, “Yeah, we ready for all those questions?”

Buck thought it through for a few seconds before shrugging. “Yeah, she may never let us hear the end of it, but yeah. Why not? We should probably tell at least Bobby too, since he’s our boss and all.”

Eddie smirked, “Before you get yourself in trouble again with that pretty little mouth of yours.” 

“Hey, I’m not the one that got an ultimatum from the boss, yesterday.” Buck’s smug grin was firmly in place, even as he turned back to head back to kitchen. “Hey Cap! Diaz needs to talk to you.”

Eddie just shook his head and followed Bobby to his office.

“What’s up, Eddie?” Bobby asked as the younger man closed the office door.

“First off, thanks for yesterday. I needed someone to lay it all out before I could really sort things out.”

“So you took my advice?” Bobby asked, taking a seat in his desk chair.

“Sort of. I’m done with the fighting. I guess I hadn’t really thought about how much I was risking going out like that. You got me thinking, but it wasn’t until I was literally watching my son and-“ Eddie took a deep breath and just decided to just say it. “And my boyfriend were sitting there crying on the floor, I knew I’d messed up more than I even realized.”

Bobby’s eyebrow shot up at what Eddie had said. He had so many questions, he started with the most important one first. “Crying? Did you-“ Bobby tired to figure out how to best phrase it. “Was anyone…hurt?”

Eddie backpedaled when he realized what Bobby was asking. “God, no! Not like that. Sorry. No, I just hadn’t realized how much Christopher had actually known. He knew I was struggling and he was trying to be strong for me. I didn’t even notice I was upsetting him. It was worse than any hit I took in those fights. And No, I’d rather die than hurt him or Evan. I’d never forgive myself.”

“Wait, Evan is your boyfriend. Evan as in Evan Buckley? Our Buck?” Bobby asked. He’d known the two were close, he’d thought he’d noticed the two getting even closer after the bombing and the tsunami, but the lawsuit had changed things, or so he thought. He waited for Eddie to clarify.

Eddie laughed nervously and scratched at the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess that is the other reason he sent me in here. Apparently it’s my job to tell you. Since and I quote ‘you’re our boss and all’.” Eddie shook his head.

“Well, I’m glad to hear you two have figured things out.” Bobby smiled but leaned forward, putting his elbows on his desk. “Just don’t let it interfere with the job, okay? You two make a good team, don’t make me have to separate you two.”

“Oh yeah, no, no worry there. Buck just got the job back. He’d kill me if we screwed that up.” Eddie shook his head.

“Good.” Bobby nodded. “The two of you have had a rough year, you guys deserve to be happy. So I’m glad it worked out. Anything else you need to tell me?”

“Not that I know of,” Eddie shook his head.

“Okay.” Bobby stood up and headed back out to where the team was, he was sure Eddie wouldn’t be far behind him. He clapped Buck on the shoulder as he approached him before pulling him into a hug. “Congrats, kid. Just not in the station, and definitely not in the truck, okay?”

Buck laughed, hugging Bobby back. “You got it, Cap.” He gave a mock salute after he pulled away.

Bobby moved past Buck and pulled $10 out of his wallet and handed it to Hen. Hen busted out laughing. Chimney shook his head.

“Pay up.” Hen held her hand out to Chimney when she finally stopped laughing. 

“Really you guys, Really?” Buck threw his hands up in annoyance. “Bobby, really?”

Bobby raised his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I figured you have figured it out around Thanksgiving.”

“I said Christmas, at best.” Chimney said as he handed Hen the cash she’d won. “Maddie was just hoping it would be soon. Otherwise the two of you would be insufferable during the holidays.”

“Seriously, Chim!” Buck groaned.

“Ev, don’t worry about it. Now we just have to tell a few more people.” Eddie laughed before he pulled Buck in for a kiss.

“Not Maddie,” Chimney said as they looked over to see him lower his phone and sending a text.

A few seconds later Buck’s phone rang. Buck groaned as he answered the phone. “Hi Mads, yeah I know. I was going to tell you. Yeah, I know Hen won.” Eddie laughed, giving Buck’s free hand a squeeze before going to join the rest of the team.

“Not the worst picture I’ve seen.” Hen said, before handing Chimney’s phone to Eddie. Eddie smiled down at the picture. He wasn’t surprised Chimney had taken a picture of Buck and Eddie to send to Maddie, he really didn’t mind.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll send it to you. Just give me back my phone.” Chimney said as he took his phone back. A few seconds later Eddie’s phone chimed. “There.” Chim told him. “Happy?”

“Yeah.” Eddie looked at the picture in the message and saved it to his phone. “Thanks, Chim.” Eddie looked back over when he heard Buck laughing, clearly having a nice chat with his sister on the phone. He was happy. Things weren’t perfect; he knew he still had a lot of issues. He knew Buck would still have a lot to work through after the hell he’d been through. He knew Christopher needed them now more than ever, but they would figure it out, together, as a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone liked it. I forget how great it feels to finish a story sometimes. If you look at my works you'll see I'm not the greatest at finding endings. I actually rewrote this chapter from scratch halfway through it. I originally had Buck coming over after Christopher was in bed and it turned into yelling match in the front yard. That just didn't feel right to me. It need to come about more out of concern than anger to me. Anger was the issue needed to be solved, not the way of solving it. So looping Chris in helped fix that problem. I did save the other version in case anyone wants to see that hot mess.  
Thanks for sticking it out until the end.  
Thank you to everyone who left comments on the first chapter. I tried to make it a good conclusion for you guys.  
People like you are why I still try and write these stories, and hope to finish my other ones some day.  
Adore you all.  
If you are interested in finding my writings on tumblr my writing sideblog is sortofanobsession

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.  
You can find my writings on tumblr at sortofanobsession


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